I found this poem online today while reading through some posts on a support forum. I have been trying to find out who to credit, but I can’t find the source. If you happen to know, please leave a comment.
To Be A Man In Grief
To be a man in grief,
Since “men don’t cry” and “men are strong”,
No tears can bring relief.
It must be very difficult to stand up to the test
and field calls and visitors so she can get some rest.
They always ask if she’s alright and what she’s going through,
But seldom take his hand and ask, “My friend, but how are you?”
He hears her crying in the night and thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her, but “stays strong” for her sake.
It must be very difficult to start each day anew
And try to be so very brave. He lost his child too.
And, how very true. My husband hears me cry and I can see how helpless he feels. He tells me he feels lost, sad and numb. We do alternate giving each other comfort. It’s just not always easy. We talk to each other a lot, we sit quietly together and enjoy the company of our little bugger of a cat named Immie. She seems to just know that we are sad. She never leaves our side, she puts her paws on our arms or on our faces. She sniffs at the tears on our faces.
I know that my husband is grieving just as deeply as I am. He’s staying as strong as he can be for me.
I have been fortunate to have such an outpouring of support, but I think he feels left out. Very few are texting him to ask him how he is or sending him messages with sentiments about his strength. About his courage. About his bravery. About his loss.
He lost his child, too.