XO, Isabel

Hope and Courage: Our Surrogacy Journey

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RESOLVE Walk of Hope 2013, Northern California

September 22, 2013Leave a Comment

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On Saturday, September 21, 2013 a group of our friends and family joined us on Team XO for RESOLVE.org’s inaugural Walk of Hope. There were a few across the country, and we attended the one in Sacramento, CA (Northern California).

Together, our team ranked #4 raising just over $1,300. One of our team members was ranked #2 overall in the Top Participants category. GO Team XO!

Team XO

Each person that walked on Team XO has experienced or is directly connected to someone that has experienced infertility. It was nice to have this support while we all joined together. The walk’s message was simple: No one with infertility should walk alone.

And, it seems simple. Yet, it can be a very agonizing battle between being able to open up and share or simply hiding away in privacy. I mean, everyone talks about pregnancy, childbirth and babies. We don’t talk about HOW babies are made. Well, except for those awkward conversations you might remember with your own parents, or dread having to have with your own children. Or, from that permission slip you had to send home to your parents so that you could go to school later that week to learn about puberty AND how babies are made.  But, in our adult worlds and conversations, we don’t often talk about how babies are made. Frankly, not many of our friends need to know about our intimate moments. How, then, do you bring up the topic of infertility? When all your intimate moments lead to negative pregnancy tests? When all that baby dancing leads to tears when your period shows up? No, we don’t talk about that. When someone achieves pregnancy, one of our first questions isn’t “how long did that take you!?” No. We just assume that the baby was made the old-fashioned way. After only trying once. Just like how we’d like to imagine our parents with regards to our own conceptions.

That’s just not the case for the 1 in 8 couples that are dealing with infertility. It’s simply not the case. More and more men and women are sharing their stories. It’s easier now with the help of blogs, Twitter feeds, Facebook and now even Pinterest. Oh, and you can share and still maintain anonymity. How much easier is that? As more and more are opening up about their family-building journeys their openness is allowing us to learn a lot about the emotional and physical toll that infertility takes for those affected men and women and the friends and family that love and support them. Yet, there are still so many that suffer alone. That cry alone. That swing between a myriad of emotions about their own fertility. Some have to weigh their pain over others that they know. Some negotiate with their emotions, that they should be satisfied with already having a child or two and for feeling as though they are selfish for wanting more children. There are so many different scenarios and ways to cope and just “deal” and I think you get the point. No one with infertility should walk alone.

If you’re someone that feels like you’re walking alone; you’re not. If you’re not ready to share your story with the world, try sharing it with someone you trust. To unburden yourself with your secret, you will lift a mountain off of your shoulders. Chances are that the person you share with knows someone that has experienced infertility. Chances are it’s her (or him). I mean, it’s 1 in 8. That’s almost a game of Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon (okay, okay, fine, Six Degrees of Separation).

How you choose to unburden yourself is up to you. Try it, though. You’ll be surprised at the support that is available to you. Maybe it’s your best friend. Or, maybe it’s more official, like a therapist or a coach or a member of the clergy. The point is, infertility hurts. Staying silent can hurt you, too. Feeling alone can make you feel worse about your situation and you shouldn’t feel alone.

Here are just some ideas to break the silence or to begin to unburden yourself about infertility:

– Talk to your partner, perhaps both of you need something from each other
– Start a personal diary or journal, art journals are great, too
– Write a blog. Don’t feel like telling the world who you are? Do it anonymously
– Talk to a friend or family member that you trust
– Reach out to a stranger! No, really! Have you read a blog about someone that is sharing a story similar to yours? Reach out to him or her
– Look for a counselor or life coach
– Look for support groups, there are many available in your local areas and tons of them online
– Create an anonymous Twitter account and tweet your heart out
– Create a private board on Pinterest and share all the images that mean something to you
– Join some private groups on Facebook or create your own and invite a few close friends to support you through this
– Create art (I prefer photography and mixed media)

Have any other ideas? Share them.

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Filed Under: Advocate, Infertility, Resources Tagged: hope, infertility awareness, resources, talk about infertility

Walk of Hope

September 13, 20136 Comments

xo-isabel-infertility-awareness

On Saturday, September 21, 2013 we will be participating in RESOLVE‘s Walk of Hope 2013 in Northern California.

We are so honored that some of our friends & family have decided to join us on this walk. We are walking to support Infertility and Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Awareness.

About the Walk

The mission is simple—to find a voice for the 1 in 8 couples battling infertility and bring this disease out of the shadows.

The Walk of Hope is a day to recognize the many ways in which families are built. People of all ages can participate as a walker or donor and raise awareness of how the disease of infertility impacts families nationwide. Funds raised from the Walk support local programming which includes support groups and educational events, public awareness initiatives, and advocacy efforts to ensure all family building options are available to all.

With your help, RESOLVE will continue to:

  • – offer hope to the 7.3 million Americans suffering with infertility
  • – provide RESOLVE events and support programs to the 1 in 8 couples diagnosed with infertility
  • – ensure that all family building options are available to all.
  • – break the silence of infertility. 

Other facts:

  • – More than 776,000 people in California are impacted by infertility.
  • – There are only 19 support groups in northern California.
  • – California has an insurance mandate that covers infertility treatment.
    (Personal Note: But employers aren’t obligated to choose a health plan that covers treatment and it does not include coverage for IVF, in my case, I have zero coverage for infertility treatments, not even to continue to diagnose my Recurrent Pregnancy Loss).

(Source: RESOLVE.org, Walk of Hope)

My Story

My husband and I have dealt with Infertility for many years. In addition to this, we have also dealt with Recurrent Pregnancy Loss. One without the other is incredibly difficult. Together, it’s almost unbearable at times.

Our son Leo was a spontaneous pregnancy; a miracle really. Combined, I’ve dealt with Infertility and Recurrent Pregnancy Loss for over 15 years. Over the course of that time, I’ve undergone fertility, or Assisted Reproductive Technology (ART) treatments that ranged from ovulation induction medication, intrauterine inseminations (IUI), InVitro Fertilization (IVF) with Intra-cytoplasmic sperm injection (ICSI), Frozen Embryo Transfer (FET) and countless poking, prodding, injections, blood work, ultrasounds, and visits to doctors. Oh, and acupuncture, lucky socks, fertility charms, baby dust (glitter!), birthday candle wishes, wishes on shooting stars and countless other things to keep hope alive.

I was lucky to have found a very good support system all those many years ago. Many of the women that I’ve met along my journey are still my friends. I’ve watched countless go through heartache after heartache as their own journeys to parenthood evolved. I’ve also seen so many children be born or find a way into the lives of these women and their families.

For many, the sting of Infertility will live with them for a lifetime. Even having a child come into your life cannot erase the journey that got you there, but it can make your outcome so much sweeter. So much more appreciated.

It’s organizations like RESOLVE that are out there to fight for our reproductive health choices and family building options.

If you are local to the Sacramento, CA area, walk with us. Join Team XO on September 21, 2013.

If you aren’t local, consider a donation, however small, to help this organization keep doing the good work that they do. They’re speaking for so many whose voice is not heard.

DonationButton

P.S. The top image is part of a T-Shirt I’m designing for Team XO!

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Filed Under: Advocate, Infertility, Recurrent Pregnancy Loss Tagged: Donate, RESOLVE, walk of hope

Advocate: Walk of Hope 2013

August 20, 2013Leave a Comment

The Walk of Hope is not just a walk, it's a movement. Join @resolveorg in September at a California Walk of Hope. http://t.co/TUd5KESJYI

— resolveorg (@resolveorg) August 20, 2013

Friends and Family will be joining us on this Walk of Hope in Sacramento, CA on September 21st.

If you’re in the area and wish to join, please visit our team page here: Team XO. If you are unable to join but wish to support a great cause, please consider a donation, however small.

Here’s a little more about the Walk of Hope 2013:

RESOLVE’s Walk of Hope is a 1-mile walk that recognizes the many ways in which families are built, supports local support and programs for the 7.3 million women and men living with infertility and raises public understanding of how the disease of infertility impacts families nationwide.

The Walk of Hope is being held in several locations across the country. Funds raised from the Walk support local RESOLVE programming which includes support groups and educational events, public awareness initiatives, and advocacy efforts to ensure family building options are available to all!

The name “Walk of Hope” embodies the emotion that most people living with infertility feel. They are hopeful their dreams of family come true. Some hope to simply find a peaceful resolution to their infertility journey. A Walk of Hope is an event that represents the infertility journey—a series of small steps, each one filled with hope and a reminder that no one should walk on this journey alone.

XO, Isabel

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Filed Under: Advocate, Daily, Infertility Tagged: advocate, RESOLVE, walk of hope

Hello. my name is Isabel and this blog is all about my experiences dealing with infertility, recurrent pregnancy loss, and our new adventure as intended parents in our surrogacy journey. Also, a little bit of everything else in my life. Welcome! read more...

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